guest post + giveaway with Mustard Seed Coaching

June 25, 2014

Happy Wednesday, y’all! Today, I’m pleased to introduce y’all to Kerry Frances, the darling girl behind  Mustard Seed Coaching. Kerry has so generously offered to share a few of the core principles behind one of her most popular coaching topics, the DREAM Crushers. I’m sure you will love Kerry’s inshrining point of view, and stick around ’til the end for a very exciting giveaway Kerry is offering, too!


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Over a weekend away last Summer, I became overwhelmed with the idea that I must finally create a business for the work I had been doing for years. It was as though inspiration met motivation right there in my mother’s living room and I begin to scribble out the bare bones of what and why I was doing this.

The very first thing that came to mind are what I lovingly call our DREAM Crushers. I firmly believe there are five core things that stand in-between you and what you want. Not so inspiring, I know, however the good news is that I also firmly believe, and have witnessed, that it is possible to remove these obstacles one by one until you are face to face with your dream life. We’re talking poolside with a drink in hand, a three-day work week, starring on Broadway, writing that NYTimes best seller, living out your biggest passion type of dream life. The really juicy, delicious kind we all secretly simultaneously want and fear we’re not worthy of having. Let’s go get that, shall we?

In an effort to not write The Longest Blog Post Of All Time, I’m highlighting the two most popular, if you will, of the five DREAM Crushers.

Let’s start at the very beginning, it’s a very good place to start (if you understand that reference then please know I’m sending you a virtual high-five, you Sound Of Music lover, you). The Big D in DREAM Crushers stands for Distractions (cue scary music dun-dun-dun). DISTRACTIONS! Oh Lord help us. Let’s look at the obvious ones first, shall we? The Internet, or as I like to call it: the Holy Grail of Distractions. You’ve got your Facebook, your Twitter, your Pinterest (fess up, this can time-suck days on end, right?), your Instagram, YouTube, eBay, Craigslist, websites upon websites, and one of my most favorite distractions, blogs! I can easily knock out five hours just reading blogs and lollygagging around on Facebook. And I know I’m not alone here.

When we’re visiting the World Wide Web, the best way to tackle a case of the Distractions is to set time limits. For example, every time my career is going well in New York City, I fancy to hop over to PadMapper and look up apartments in other major cities. Since I know this about myself, I can roll my eyes at myself and allow a 45-minute tour of all available apartments in Atlanta, LA, Miami, and San Fran. Once I hit that 45 mark, however, I’m done.

By recognizing the pattern of when we distract ourselves, and understanding the why behind it, we can release the grasp it has on us. In the case of my example, the pattern was “see success in NYC, look up apartments elsewhere”. Once that was established, I recognized that I felt fearful of achieving my biggest dreams and any little indicator that I was on my way lit a fear fire in me, leading me to distract myself by daydreaming about what it would be like to live elsewhere. Taking it one step further means recognizing that if I lived elsewhere, I would potentially be pursuing another career thus temporarily “relieving” my fears of success as an actress. Playing detective in these moments can save you from your own judgement, confusion, and help you understand your own patterns.

Distractions come in all sorts of people, places and things (just like nouns! sorry, couldn’t resist) and while many are obvious, there are a whole lot that are not. One of the greatest distractions we have in our lives are our loved ones. Yep, you read that right. Now I’m not suggesting you rent a yurt somewhere in the middle of nowhere, ditch your cell phone, and never write home again. What I am suggesting is recognizing when we’re using our friends and family as a way of avoiding our dreams. For example, say you’ve got a big presentation at work and need to go over your speech the night before. As soon as you sit down at your desk, you suddenly remember a friend called you three days ago and you haven’t returned the call. You become fixated on the idea that you must call her back right now and you can’t possibly work on your speech because you didn’t call her back and you are obviously a terrible friend and just when did you become a terrible friend and.. well, you get the picture. Instead of doing your important work, you’ve now given yourself a whirling thought parade to get swept up in for the next few hours until it’s too late to work and you go to bed. Distraction.

See if you can identify 3 of your biggest distractions. Don’t apply feelings or judgements to them (i.e. shame or guilt) or even analyze them at all. Just identify them. Is it watching The Bachelorette? Playing Candy Crush? Texting anyone back the very second they text you? Shopping? Cleaning? I’d love to hear your top three in the comments section.

Another wildly popular distraction is the M in DREAM Crushers, which stands for Mumbo Jumbo, a term I use to represent all of the nonsense others tell you and all the nonsense you tell yourself in your own head.

There are no rules. Not in your career, your relationship, your dreams. There is no one right way to do things or live your life. When people tell you “how life is”, that is simply them sharing how their specific journey has gone and is not necessarily applicable to you. For example, if you’re interviewing at a company that your cousin once interviewed for and he chats with you the night before your interview about how everyone in the office is really stuck up, you’ll go into that interview expecting snobs. Meanwhile, your cousin did his interview there years before, with an entirely different team working, on a day where he just couldn’t shake his own crappy mood. Therefore his experience will not match yours unless you take his Mumbo Jumbo to heart.

Friends, family, and strangers that we talk with in waiting rooms and on Instagram feeds all mean well. They do. However, sometimes listening to others (in advice or in simply just listening to their conversation) can be more detrimental than good for you.

The most detrimental voice of all, however, is the voice in your own head. We are hard on ourselves. Too hard. And too judgmental, and demanding, and harsh, and too quick to go against ourselves. There is no way we would speak to someone we love the way we sometimes speak to ourselves and yet we just keep on keepin’ on with the negativity and name-calling for ourselves. For example, if you sleep in, is the first thing you think in the morning along the lines of, “hey, good job self! You really needed rest and you honored that need and took care of yourself. High five!”, or is it more along the lines of, “ugh, seriously now I’m going to be so behind in my day. What is wrong with me? Why am I so lazy?”. But if your best friend told you she slept till 10am, you’d probably tell her she needed it or say you were jealous. You wouldn’t berate her, right?

Take some time to think about how you speak to yourself and how the people in your life speak to you. Identify who is consistently hard on you (yes, this includes you), and begin the work and conversations needed to start changing that. If things don’t change, reassess if you need that person in your life. Examine which side of the Mumbo Jumbo is a bit heavier for you: others or yourself? When we have a great support team we tend to be rougher on ourselves as there are others to step in and build us back up. When we have a smaller or non-existent community, we tend to be a touch nicer to ourselves as the world can be harsher in that scenario. Which group do you fall into?

Your life is right now, friends. It is right now. You deserve to create and live the dreams you have. We are called to certain things in life that are designed specifically for us and allow us to truly serve the world around us, shine our light, and inspire others to go after what they want. Be brave enough to go after those dreams.

You can join me over at Mustard Seed Coaching for more inspiration, tips, and strategies, or on Instagram for bold words and cute pups. Go get those dreams.


Thanks so much for sharing, Kerry! If you found this message really resonating with you and you’re interested in learning more or need help finding ways to proactively go after your big dreams, today is your lucky day! Use the form below to enter to win an hour-long coaching session with Kerry! Winner will be announced back here on Friday.

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Mustard Seed Coaching works with Actors, Artists, Bloggers, Entrepreneurs & Creatives, empowering them with tips and tools to achieve their Dreams, and the accountability and confidence needed to live Authentically. Giveaway winner will receive one free 60-minute coaching session via Skype or Google chat. Winner may transfer prize to another person, should they prefer to gift it to someone they love.

We have a winner, y’all! Huge congrats to Meagan E. for winning an hour-long coaching session with Kerry Frances of Mustard Seed Coaching! Meagan, shoot Kerry an email at hellokerryfrances (at) gmail.com to claim your prize and talk deets! Happy Friday, lovelies. Hope it’s a fabulous day!

  1. Amy Webber says:

    Such a good blog! I can resonate with what she said about our own voices in our head causing the most mumbo jumbo. Great advice! Thanks for sharing!

  2. This is so helpful! I know right off the bat that my biggest distraction is cleaning. Working on my house always feels useful and gives me a boost, and the results are predictable and satisfying… I’ll have to try your setting a time limit trick so that it doesn’t become a distraction from the things I really need to be doing.

  3. Gosh I just adore this post. It’s exactly what I needed today. I own two businesses and run my blog. I rarely get a day off, but today I did. I started being hard on myself from the moment I woke up. Instead of giving myself a well deserved and much needed break, I created an unattainable list – only to let myself down because I knew I couldn’t complete it. My Mumbo Jumbo is my own voice putting myself down before I even give ‘me’ a chance.

    Thank you for this refreshing post!

  4. Abi Losli says:

    So good! Cleaning, Netflix, and Instagram are my biggest distractions. Cleaning because it makes me feel like I’m making tangible progress, Netflix and Instagram because they make me feel like I’m not the only one in this tiny apartment all day long.

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My name is Bonnie – I’m a brand designer, strategist, and writer which all adds up to one eclectic conglomeration of qualities that enables me to serve you well! Past clients have dubbed me "the Joanna Gaines of brand design," and I've had more than a few call me a dream maker, a game changer, and a design wizard (my Harry Potter-loving heart didn't hate that one, let me tell you!). At the end of the day, I'm a big-hearted creative who will get teary-eyed as you share the heart behind your business; who will lose sleep over the perfect font pairings and color selections to bring your brand to life visually; and who will work tirelessly to empower, encourage, and equip you to share your work with the world intentionally. 

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